I really want to share my story with you because it has been SUCH a ride, one worth sharing, and people are always asking “How did you do it?” But I want to be brutally honest. Because, I think it wouldn’t be real if I wasn’t being honest. I wear my emotions on my chest. So “sharing is caring”…I just want to give it to you straight. No fluff. Just me.
But first….I have to square away with you. I don’t have an eating disorder. I eat A LOT. Just ask anyone who knows me. And….everyone has their own ideas about what is a healthy weight for them and what isn’t. Mine isn’t the same as yours, I can guarantee it. This is just MY story.
Rewind 14 months ago.
Working out is boring. I don’t have time to workout. Who does? It’s cold outside. I’ll work out when it’s warmer. Casseroles are the best…and the easiest way to cook. I should be able to eat whatever I want and not feel guilty. I’m happy…why would I want to starve myself? Indulgences are meant to be enjoyed as much as I want. Salads taste awful. Mark loves me the way I am…that’s all that matters. Being skinny is for the teenagers…that stage of my life is behind me. I guess
my metabolism is slowing down. They all said this would happen! I guess it’s a part of life.
Then….I tried on a pair of my jeans and I swear, I thought that they were going
to rip in two. Imagine Spanx….but all over my body and not stretchy. I felt completely constricted, like I was in a straight jacket. Muffin top, anyone? Tears of frustration. That moment when it all hits you. Nothing fits. Even my fat clothes are too tight for comfort. OMG….I have to buy a jean size that I have NEVER bought before. Clothing shopping is painful. I pick up my size but it doesn’t fit and I want to cry, right in the dressing room.
I’m DONE. I refuse to let something I can control (my weight) affect my pocketbook. I refuse to buy all new clothes. I refuse to go up a size I’ve never worn before. I refuse to let this weight gain continue. I hit a max weight.
“Happy Valentines Day, Mark! Here is your present…P90X. Oh…you want me to do it with you? I’m not so sure. All of those people on the cover have a lot of muscles and this seems a little intense for me…..Ok, ok….I’ll do it with you. ”
I’m like a light switch. When I turn something on, it’s on. It’s not half-way, one-toe-in, maybe I’ll skip it today…it’s 110%.
Reading the nutrition booklet that came with P90X. “Mark….it says that we should eat 5 meals a day….and there are no…..casseroles….in this recipe book!” I could use some more structure in my life. Let’s follow the diet….to a T.
So we began….my journey to rid myself of my fat pants.
to be continued…….