I really want to share my story with you because it has been SUCH a ride, one worth sharing, and people are always asking “How did you do it?”  But I want to be brutally honest.  Because, I think it wouldn’t be real if I wasn’t being honest.  I wear my emotions on my chest.  So “sharing is caring”…I just want to give it to you straight.  No fluff.  Just me.

But first….I have to square away with you.  I don’t have an eating disorder.  I eat A LOT.  Just ask anyone who knows me.  And….everyone has their own ideas about what is a healthy weight for them and what isn’t.  Mine isn’t the same as yours, I can guarantee it.  This is just MY story.

Rewind 14 months ago.

  Working out is boring.  I don’t have time to workout.  Who does?  It’s cold outside.  I’ll work out when it’s warmer.  Casseroles are the best…and the easiest way to cook.  I should be able to eat whatever I want and not feel guilty.  I’m happy…why would I want to starve myself?  Indulgences are meant to be enjoyed as much as I want.  Salads taste awful.  Mark loves me the way I am…that’s all that matters.  Being skinny is for the teenagers…that stage of my life is behind me.  I guess

my metabolism is slowing down.  They all said this would happen!  I guess it’s a part of life.

Hm…………

Then….I tried on a pair of my jeans and I swear, I thought that they were going

Me at my heaviest, 2/2010

to rip in two.  Imagine Spanx….but all over my body and not stretchy.  I felt completely constricted, like I was in a straight jacket.  Muffin top, anyone?  Tears of frustration.  That moment when it all hits you.  Nothing fits.  Even my fat clothes are too tight for comfort.  OMG….I have to buy a jean size that I have NEVER bought before.  Clothing shopping is painful.  I pick up my size but it doesn’t fit and I want to cry, right in the dressing room.

I’m DONE.  I refuse to let something I can control (my weight) affect my pocketbook.  I refuse to buy all new clothes.  I refuse to go up a size I’ve never worn before.  I refuse to let this weight gain continue.  I hit a max weight.

“Happy Valentines Day, Mark!  Here is your present…P90X.  Oh…you want me to do it with you?  I’m not so sure.  All of those people on the cover have a lot of muscles and this seems a little intense for me…..Ok, ok….I’ll do it with you. ”

I’m like a light switch.  When I turn something on, it’s on.  It’s not half-way, one-toe-in, maybe I’ll skip it today…it’s 110%.

Reading the nutrition booklet that came with P90X.  “Mark….it says that we should eat 5 meals a day….and there are no…..casseroles….in this recipe book!”  I could use some more structure in my life.  Let’s follow the diet….to a T.

So we began….my journey to rid myself of my fat pants.

to be continued…….

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